My rights as a parent

Today...my heart is heavy for a friend I love...and while this isn't something that I am  currently battling with as a parent...but it is something that I know I will face again and again.

the hard line between loving & guiding our children. when it gets hard.
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So...here goes.

If one of my boys had a friend that I knew was struggling with a meth addiction....I would not "allow" them to hang out.

If one of my boys was dating a girl that had been labeled as "that girl"....they would not be "allowed" to date.

I put the quotes around "allowed" because I am not dumb enough to think that kids that drive don't have their own free will. They totally do.

But you see, by me offering the boundaries, I also set them up to make a decision.
Do they defy our rules in our household?
Or do they step outside of those and go their own way?

Now.....everyone that is a parent of any age....also knows that "going our own way" has risks, and consequences, and more importantly, life lessons.

While I would love to spare my kids from a few hard life lessons, I can't be a helicopter mom and control their every move.

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I digress.
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So, this brings me (us) to my (our) right as a parent.
While you live here, and I provide you with all of the necessities of life (yeah, like your iPhone...duh!)....then you grant me the rights to continue to parent you.

And that means it is ok for you to hate me, because you are grounded.
I know.
That sucks.
But you are grounded.

Believe it or not....I am helping you make some decisions that you can't yet make for yourself.

I am.
Because I love you.

And I call sin, sin.
Because I love you.

And God calls me to the mat on things.
Because He loves me.

But never once ever---not once. NEVER. does He discard me. Or disown me. Or stiff-arm me.

Nope. He loves me.
He has the right to discard me. and disown me.
Yes, He does, because of the way I act sometimes.

And, so in turn...I as a parent, should extend that same grace.

Love. with boundaries and guidance. But Love.

The key is that it always begins and ends with love.

But, dang it, why does parenting have to be so hard!

Deodorant in the fridge

There are times when I really think I have this boy-mom thing under control.
And then I open the fridge. And there's someone's deodorant.
I can't even ask questions.
I just leave it there. Right by the sour cream.
Old Spice Swagger and a dollop of Daisy.
Whatever it takes.
#BoyMom
#ExpectTheUnexpected
#BlessTheirWives
#ITried

Sweet brothers

No one ever told me when I was pregnant with Chap, that I was carrying Mason's best friend. I figured it out on my own :) #tbt #2004 

18 years summed up in a coffee cup!

18 years of praying, hard work, arguments, PTO meetings, little league, ball games, youth mission trips, art projects, homework, ACT testing, fundraisers, field trips, spend-the-night friends---all summed up right here!! And I couldn't be any more proud! He set a vision years ago, and followed God's path, to get there! Have fun, Mas---but not too much :)

Graduation Cupcakes, anyone?

Yeah, I made these.

(insert brag and pat-on-the-back)

Ok, well, what I did was I made the cupcakes (and although you can't tell, those are cute little graduation cupcake papers)

And then Scott's super fabulous Aunt Gail iced them for me, with her magic touch!

She even added a little Icing Glitter to them. So cute!

So, how did I make the toppers?

So very easy:

Making the photo topper:
I used Avery Design Pro, and I designed a "round label" (I inserted the image, and scaled it to fit the label. And that was it. That easy!)


Then I printed it on cardstock (not the label paper)

Making the colored backing:
Then...I used one of my MANY scrapbooking punches (thank goodness I am a hoarder)

I cut it with a circle punch. You can use anyone, but this one works good.

Next, I cut larger punches with his school colors (black and gold)

I use this one in the Scallop.

We were having fondue at the party, so I took some of the long skewers and broke them in half, and used them for the sticks (you couldn't see the rough edges because they were sandwiched into the toppers)

But, you could be proper and use real sticks (like the ones for cake pops)

Put them together:
And so I put the colored paper, then glued the stick. Then glued the picture on top of that!

Ta da!
So cute!

Youth Volunteers Rebuild Homes

Youth Volunteers Rebuild Homes

So proud of my boys, both featured in this clip.

Nothing better than saying they spent their summer serving others, in Jesus' name!

How can I do both?!

Tears rolled down my face as I watched him walk away. Back towards the dorm. 

And then just as he got a little closer to the dorm. 

He never looked back. 

But the walk turned into a skip. Almost a run. 

How can I be so sad. 

Like a punch in my stomach. 

And he's so excited?! 

So ready for this future. 

So excited and ready to dive head first into college. 

Sometimes it's so exciting to watch, but at the same time---this sux. 

It takes a village...

This is what it looks like. 

The village. 

In our schools. 

As the end is here, I am truly thankful for the teachers that have loved my boys. 

And so today, we thanked them. For their role in Mason's academic adventures. 

And although its not much, we baked them with love. 

We packaged each one. Tied the ribbon and added the tags. With love and thankfulness. 

Yes, he helped. That big boy senior of mine. And he gets it. 

He delivered 199 of these little beauties today (only because I kept one for the photo!!)

Starting at the elementary school. Moved on to the intermediate school (although this school came after his time, many of these teachers were his teachers, principal, etc)

Then to middle school, junior high and finally the high school. 

This includes teachers, office staff, janitors, lunchroom ladies and more. 

Atleast 199. Because I'm sure someone was left out. And I'm sorry for that. 

We are thankful for the village. Because of it, he's one smart cookie! 

Basketballin...

Hawks vs Bulls
And I must admit...I'm a little jealous I wasn't invited on this trip!

What do you mean, "we don't get gifts"???

So, I heard a conversation tonight, and her voice just rings in my ear.

 It was a few people chatting about "teacher's gifts" and so they asked a teacher what she preferred. And she began talking about the ornaments that she has a bazillion of, but some of them she loves so much, because of that particular child.

Another talked about how she doesn't really like the "trinkets" but she encourages her parents in the room to purchase books for the classroom library. And the teacher also commented about how she likes to receive "edible giftables"

And then there was another teacher, and someone asked her opinion. She quickly replied "I teach High School. We don't get gifts"

 WHAT!!!!!!!! Hold THE BUS! What do you mean? You don't get gifts? Are you telling me that parents of High Schoolers are so disconnected, that they don't tell their children's teachers Thank You?
 Seriously. Well, the sad part is, I already knew this. Mason's freshman year, I went and put cookies in ALL of the High School teachers boxes. There aren't that many.

Maybe 30 or so.

I had baked cookies. And put 2 to a bag.
TWO.

Yes, count them. 1 & 2.

(Do you know how long it takes to bake 60 cookies?! Like...um, no time! and then tie some cheap curling ribbon?!)


And I had an alarming number of teachers tell me they had NEVER received a Christmas gift in their entire High School Teaching career?

Unbelievable.

These are the teachers that help influence our children's career choice.

These are the teachers that teach them a foreign language, to equip them and help make them marketable to Corporate America.

These are the teachers that hug them when they break up with their first love....or that take care of them when they are sick, but NEED to be at school so they don't miss a huge exam.

You seriously, can't bake them a cookie.

Or buy them a dollar box of candy?

Come on now!

So, all of that to say this.

As Mason's High School career draws to a close....I realize just the value in all of years of doing this.

13 years.

Yes, 13 years and every year I have baked cookies, dipped spoons, chocolate dipped pretzels, or whatever I was feeling crafty enough to do.

And no, I am NOT bragging on myself, but am honestly thankful that I took the time.

Christmas time is frantic at our house.

And I would be willing to be that 11 of the 13 years...I was up late at night, finishing them in a quiet house, while my other 3 were nestled away (NOT helping!)

But, each  year, my boys write on the tags.

And they tell me how many teachers, coaches, janitors, office workers, etc that they want to give "gifts" to...and then they go in that morning with a bag full of goodies!

And they come with nothing! And they are always ready to tell me that so&so loved it...or Mrs. Whatever said she LOVES cookies, etc

I can only hope that my children and their wives will follow in this tradition...and maybe one day their teacher will say "I teach High School...and our kids are taught to appreciate us!"

All good things must come to an end.

(photo credit to my Sissy)

This photo Is the perfect reflection of how I feel this morning. You can't see my tears.

But what you can see is a Mama so proud. Not just proud of my #50. Proud of all of them. Like they are my very own.

 I'm not sad because they lost.

I mean, yes, like Mason said...you always wish you could go one more round. But...

Come on. The played Hoover. It's like saying you fought Mahamad Ali. Or that you swam with Michael Phelps.

They played AT Regions Park. Under the lights.

They made it to round 2, when half of the nation was at home. Wishing they would have.

This year alone:
They buried a teammate
Battled numerous injuries
Lost several starters to injuries
Attend the funeral of their Coach's father, as a team
BEAT OXFORD
And made it to Round 2 in the state playoffs. Something no Pell City Team has done in YEARS!!!


But most of all, they found that brotherhood that many men before them have found in this sport, and that's why it's the game it is.

As a girl, I never really "got it". And even when Mason came in that freshman year and said he wanted to go out for Spring Training. I fought it.He wanted to play, his Daddy wanted him to play, and I wanted him to stay home and cuddle with me...and not get hurt ;)

I'm so glad I lost that battle.

These are my boys.

MY BOYS.

And I'm not sad because they lost.

I'm sad because this chapter of our life has closed. And I won't have them every day. To love and hug.

I might not have a house fulla boys on Saturday mornings to feed.

I won't have Fridays full of psycho chaos. Chaos that I love.

So. I'm thankful for this picture. Of me. So proud of my boys.

And I guess my biggest question is...now what?!

Oh yeah...basketball starts Monday:)

Chronicles of Senior Year---one month down!

School started one month ago today! I can't believe it has already been a month.

In JUST ONE MONTH--
We have had the football Jamboree, and 3 season games.
(we are up 2-1, by the way!)

All of those have included a breakfast that morning.
One pep rally.

We have been to an Honors College banquet for the University of Alabama!!

He received his admission letter to the University of Alabama.

He received his first scholarship offer (praise the Lord!)

We have ordered his "traditional" invitations, all of his Senior Class of 2013 garb :)

We have submitted one scholarship application.

and what else?


And meanwhile, Chap has started running Cross Country. He has had two meets and another coming up this weekend.

He's had a few basketball practices in the the mix.

And he was the famous Emmit, the Panther at the first season Home Game!

All in all, we have had quite a busy 30 days, and wow! Time does zoom!

Please. Please. Let us stop...long enough to enjoy it!

Passing the torch...

 I could almost get teary-eyed looking at this photo.

This was taken at Graduation, 2012.

Graduation when the sweet Brady was graduating, and my dear friend, and fellow Panther Mom, Wendy, would be sending her sweet guy off on a new adventure.

What a great, fine young man she has in Brady, and in his big brother, Brett.

Throughout the past several years, I have looked to Wendy for advice. For words of wisdom. For sweet encouragement, or just for a little bit of glitter, as she too knows what it is like to live in a house of 3 guys, lots of stinky clothes, girlfriends taking away their time, many many trips to the grocery store to restock, but lots of hugs and snuggles too.

I can't even count the times that I have listened to every piece of advice she has to offer, listened so intently, because I knew she had already traveled the path I was wrangling my way through at the time.

I have cried many tears to her, and she has been so gut-straight honest.

And so, it brings me to this.

These Panther earrings.

She brought them to me at graduation, the official night that Mason becomes a Senior, and she "passed the torch" to me.

Oh, my goodness. Even now, it just put a lump in my belly!

The pressure!

She passed these to me, as I still have several years to go in the Panther Stands.

Oh, sweet Wendy. I treasure them so, and I thank you for loving me as much as you have in these past years. I can only hope that my two sweet guys turn out half as wonderful as yours.
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So, I knew that I had to wear them to the games, so I added the Panther to my necklace!

And I am so very much in love with it! I can't wait to sport it at every game!

And I don't regret it one bit....

So, here's the whole story. From the beginning.

Let's go back a bit...

It started back in March.

I was invited to an Awards event. For work.

Now, the thing you must know, is that I was crazy, crazy honored. Just to be asked to attend. Much less to realize that it was an award, to recognize my achievement as a "professional".

Scott always says "numbers are how you measure the success of something"----and that is him speaking from a work perspective, not necessarily a life perspective.

So, this particular award, is a "numbers" award. An award to recognize my achievement as an Authorized Disney Vacation Planner, something that I feel like I have worked very hard to achieve at Main Street Memories.

If I look back on my life, I have achieved many, many, many things.
I have taught both of my kids to read.
I have taught both of them to tie their shoes (even though I am left handed and they are right)
I sang that "color songs" with both of my boys, and helped them learn their colors at the crisp, young age of 5.
I was there, when my 3rd grader won the "Trash Art" project, because I helped him think outside of the box.
I have seen both of my children get their SAT grades, and just marvel at their scores, and how they measure up. And that, I feel like it was an achievement.
 Both of my children were tapped into the Beta Club. Achievement.
I was there when both of my boys asked Jesus into their heart, to be their Lord and Savior.
----You see, this list goes on and on and on.

But, truly, nothing that I would say is considered "success" in the eyes of the world.

Anyways, moving on.

So, I was invited to attend this event.

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And then, July 3rd, I qualified to run for Board of Education.

And I knew that day, that I would be out of town.

YES!!!!!! GASP!!!!!!! Out of town on the day of the election!!

And so, that brings me to today.

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For the last few days, truly, I have been a bundle of nerves.

We landed in Hawaii---oh wait! Did I fail to mention that my "work event" was in Hawaii. Yes, it is.
At Disney's Aulani Resort and Spa.

So, anyways, we landed in Hawaii on Saturday, after a BEAST of a 9+ hour, direct flight.

 Yes, we look tired. I know. It's ok.

We received a "lei greeting" as soon as we stepped off of the plane.

We did a little chill that night, and then the next morning, I woke up to this:

 

Don't hate. It's ok. This was my balcony view. And honestly, I was humbled at the opportunity.

So, ok, let's get back to this election.  So, Monday, I totally struggled. And truthfully, I might have made the people around me miserable, as I just couldn't get my emotions in check. And I just couldn't decide if I was supposed to feel guilty for being here, or guilty for not being there, or just happy to be here or what?

And so, then this morning (Tuesday) yes, that's right. I had breakfast with this guy! Hallelujah.

It is like all of stars were in perfect alignment, and I felt safe and at home. 

Seriously, crazy, I know. And not too many people "get it" but really, I needed some of the Mouse in my life today.

  

So, then, as the day goes on, the nerves start to rumble inside of me. And I just had to come to peace with it. And just know, and just remind myself over and over, that the truth of it is that God already knows the outcome.

God has a plan. And no matter the outcome of these votes, He is in control. Thankfully.

And so, it came. 2pm. (well, 2pm here was 7pm at home) and then 2:30 and then 2:40....and I honestly felt like I was going to internally combust.

Poor Susie for having to deal with me thru all of this.

Anyways, and so the results came, and they weren't as I had hoped.

And well, as much as I wanna say that "yay, it's ok" and "oh, it's fine" and blah blah blah. The truth is, I'm kinda sad about the whole thing. 

And I'm not really sad because the other guy won, I think I'm just sad because I know that I woulda gave it my whole heart. And I know that I woulda been the very very best me that I could be. And, I honestly know how bad I wanted it, so that I could help make things great.

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But, in the end. Now, about 5 hours later, here's where I am.

It's ok. 

I don't regret it all one bit.

Could I have done more? Yes. But, I spent the other day making cupcakes with Chap, and I don't regret NOT going door-to-door at that time.

Could I have bought yard signs? Yes. But we went to Walt Disney World for a family vacation this summer. And I don't regret spending that money instead.

Could I have been at the Civic Center today? Yes. But, I don't regret being here at "work" in Hawaii, feeling accomplished for something that I have worked very hard it.

So, I guess all in all, I just needed to get it all out.

Here it is.

I'm in Hawaii.

And I'm so very thankful for the people that voted for me, and believed in me.

But, I am also thankful that God has afforded me some other opportunities too.

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Oh, and then I got a little FaceTime from these three guys. And they all three just wanted to let me know that they were sorry that I lost, and they are proud of me just the same.

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And so to end the conversation Chap says "and Mom, look on the bright side...you lost...but you're in Hawaii"

That kid speaks the truth!

My rear view...

I was ok.
No really. I was.
He hugged me. I wished him a great day. I took lots of pictures. And they both let me.

No arguing. No complaining. They know me. They "get" me.

And Chap and I got in my car. And he got in his. And as we approached the high school. I got a big lump in my throat. Knowing that I wasn't dropping him off for this monumental day.
Day one. Senior year.

And then.
I glanced in my rear view. And I spotted him.
All on his own.
And man.....
It got me.

Like such a perfect picture.
He's growing up. He's gaining independence. And isn't that what I had hoped for.
Isn't this what you spend those early years doing? Teaching lessons of independence.
But then. In my rear view.
So very appropriate.
It was like I saw it all in a glance. All in my rear view.
Kindergarten. And Mrs Whitten. And tying shoes. And learning letters. And making school projects. And junior high. And field days. And lunch boxes.
There it all is.
All wrapped up in that white Ford Explorer.
Goodness I'm so thankful for the sweet guy he is. And how much he loves me, and loves Jesus, and loves life in his own quiet way.
But as I watched him zip into that parking lot, it was more than I could take.
Praying. With all that is within me, for the best year ever.

I am ok with being "that mom".....

It's 3:42 am. And I can't sleep.
As I sit pouring over photos, looking thru the BAZILLION pictures that I took during Football Season, I can't help but remember how many times the guys whined like baby girls :

"come on, don't take another picture"
"hey, look, there's Smith's mom again, with the camera"
"Oh my gosh, you are NOT taking a picture of that"

And then last night, as I took some pictures to a mother, grieving the loss of her 18 year old, and teammate of Mason's.....I can't help but hear that over and over in mind.

As I gave her the pictures. One by one. Because she couldn't handle more than one at a time.
She touched them. She held them. She rubbed his face. She cried out with a voice that no mother should ever project.
And at that very moment, with the trembling in her lips, she said "this is all I have left"
It chills my arms as I type.

This. Is. All. I. Have. Left.

Yes, isn't it true.

No one wants to have their picture taken. And no one wants to be IN a picture. And NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE wants to see "that mom" coming with camera quick at the ready on my shoulder.

But, then, in the end, it's all you have left. Yes, you have your memories. But they jump out at you if they are captured in a photo.

You can see their twinkle in their eye. You can see the way that one little hair always curled wrong. You can see that scar from when they fell riding their bike, and you were so sad that they would have a scar. And now you are so thankful for that scar, because it shows character.

And so, as I approach Mason's Senior Year, and all of the memories that lie ahead, already in progress, and soon a part of his past, and then Chap quickly approaching....I think my motto for the next few years will be this....

Watch out boys, am 100% ok with being "that mom"
Now lemme go stock up on a few memory cards :)

Habitat for Humanity--Panther Style

So proud of these guys for spending one of their off days from school, pitching in to help on this Habitat for Humanity House. They were there early, and then spent the better part of the day putting up walls.

 When they arrived at the worksite, there was just a floor base, and when they left, all 4 of the walls were up, and set in place. The mom that would be receiving this house was there to also help lend a hand and she was ever thankful for these guys.
As a mom, I am so thankful that he is part of a team that works hard to give back to the community! Go Panthers!

The summer of lasts....starts right now!

 

As we watched the graduates of 2012 walk the field tonite, I was so proud of them. And the people that they don't even know that they are yet.

I also was watching, and soaking it all in......knowing that in LESS than 365 days, my big guy will be walking that same field.

Wrapping it all up. In one nice, and tidy package...with a tassel.

So, let's start RIGHT NOW.

One thing I do know for sure, is this: we have a year of so many emotions and moments ahead of us.

So many firsts. So many lasts. So many ONLYs.

 

Because we don't know what next summer holds, with potential colleges, welcome events, jobs, summer programs, etc

We plan to start right now. Making the most of every single second.

We plan to vacation like never before. We plan to spend lots of time "playing" and enjoying these days, and quite honestly, just spending as much "the 4 of us" time as we can.

Yes, there is lots of work to be done, and lots of things to take care of, but we also want to make the very most of these days as we can.

So, Sweet Summahtime...you are welcome here!!!

Let's do this!

Like sands thru the hourglass...

Nope.
This is not a post for a Soap Opera.

This is a post about this guy. The 16 year old. The Junior in High School.

I can't even believe where I am today.

I look at this picture, and to use the word "surreal" doesn't even begin to capture the magnitude of my emotions.

This guy.

I have this joy, this overwhelming, almost breathtaking joy, just looking a him.

Don't get me wrong, some days he acts like an idiot. And some days, I could punch him in the face. For doing something stupid.

But, to be quite honest, some days it literally takes my breath. At the love I have for him. And the way that I look at him. And I am so incredibly proud of the man he is becoming.

He is not that little boy anymore.

The little boy that LOVED to throw the ball. The little boy that had a skip in his step like I had never seen. The little boy that loved his mama so much. And I never knew that existed.

That little boy has slowly, and very gradually, turned into this young man, that has a heart, and a spirit of gentleness that I simply can't explain.

I love watching him get the door for a lady as we walk into the post office. I love the way he looks at his girlfriend when she is being so very silly. And he smiles, that smile, that I know it runs so deep inside of him.

I love watching him run the basketball down the court, with his tongue stuck out, because he does that when he focuses.

I love watching him laugh at Disney shows, because he sits on the couch with his little brother. I love how they sit in the backseat of the car, and share a set of earphones, because his little brother is typically too irresponsible to remember to bring a set of his own. I love that.

But, the thing about it is.....that ironically, this growing process happened so.very.gradually, that you never really saw it going from one phase to the next. And now BAM. There it is. He is a man.

But---it seems like I am watching him, like sands thru the hourglass...and he is slipping away...and oh how I do see that. I see it SO VERY FAST...and it's like there's nothing I can do to slow it down. Nothing about it is gradual.

So, as this year begins, and we step into what is called "Senior"...well, I know there will be tears. And I know it will hurt in my gut.

But, I also know that I can cry later, or at night. When he is all tucked in.

So, my plan, and my heart's cry, is to hold on. Clear my eyes. Look up. With a head held high. And embrace each second of this journey.

I want to watch him walk proudly. Play Strong. Study hard. Focus. Dream. And begin to see all that his future holds in store for him.

So, my mental seatbelt is buckled. It looks like it's gonna be a wild ride.....here we go.......

Documenting life....

The other night...I sat...not feeling so well, and Scott and both boys were gone for the night...so, while they were gone, I didn't work.

I didn't watch TV.
I didn't really feel like much of anything.

So, I started browsing back thru my blog.

And, wow. I love so many posts. Just some "real" posts, where I have documented the daily bits of our lives.

And, I have gotten away from that.

So, as Mason's high school journey is coming to a close, and the first page of the next chapter of his life is slowly turning to open....I am determined to not let these sweet days slip by...

So, hopefully, I can get back to my blog, and why I love it so.

Here's where we are right now...
Chap is finishing his days in Intermediate School. And moving onto Junior High. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

And Mason, well, he wraps up his Junior Year this year, and I feel like it is already beginning...the hourglass of time...