But I don't talk about it much, because quite honestly, I don't like to be a Debbie Downer.
I don't talk about it, because I don't know what "it" is.
I don't share because I don't want it to interfere with work "I didn't want to email you because you said you weren't feeling good."
Please. Email me. Make me talk abut magic :)
What I do know, is that I haven't eaten a solid meal in 22 months.
I know that I can't process food.
<insert thankful for coffee and protein shakes here>
And I know the pain that has now become what some might call "chronic".
So, after months and months of tests, doctors, medical bills that I have nothing to show for them, and of course the consistent "we can't figure it out"....they've decide Exploratory surgery is the best option.
Both my doctor and my surgeon don't have huge expectations. And there's a great chance that this will not yield results either.
However. It must be done.
Meanwhile, yesterday, one of my best friends gets the answer they weren't looking for.
Kayla has a brain tumor.
She will also have surgery at 10am.
I don't want to minimize my surgery, however I am more concerned about her. And their family.
I pray that God will comfort them.
I pray for and believe for a miracle.
But I do also have great fear for myself. And the unknown results of an unknown surgery.
Will I wake up to nothing?
Will I wake up to a miracle in Kayla's life?
Will I wake to an unexpected complete abdominal surgery?
Will I wake up?
I don't always share my whole heart, but today I ask for prayers on my own behalf, but I am asking that you would go to the throne of Grace on my behalf, for Kayla.
And her family.
While I'm sleeping, and my doctors are working, I pray for Kayla's doctors. That their hands be steady, and their minds be clear. I pray they are Christians. And they take the leading of the Holy Spirit as they operate.
What a day.
I pray it's a day of unexplained miracles.
Surgery is scary....but the Lord!!!