Thursday, August 25, 2016

Steady hands

This week during prayer, the story of Moses was told like I've never heard before. 

Or maybe I had. But it resonated with me. In a whole new way. 

I'll admit I'm not super Bible-savvy, but I love when an "old story" has a new meaning. 

So it's in Exodus. And it goes a little something like this. Moses had the staff of God in his hand. When he would raise his Hand, Israel prevailed. But when he lowered it..well, Amalek did. 

So the point here was that Moses needed to keep his hands held high until the battle was won. 

I myself am a "hand raiser". 
I'm a praise-the-Lord-raise-my hands-in-church girl. I sing. (Off key). I sway. 
Whatever. I praise. 

But. What about the times when it's hard to praise. What about the times when it's you're broken. And your praise is weary. 

That's when you need an Aaron and a Hur.  One on your right. One on your left. 
And they say "hey girl. You stay there. I'll hold my hands up FOR you. I'll hold YOUR hands up for you. I'll praise for you until the battle is won. Or until you're strong enough to praise again!"

Recently, I had a similar instance. I had just had surgery a few days prior and everything was a struggle. Everything that we take for granted. 

I was home alone. 
And felt like I could *finally* shower. Not be rushed. And go slow. At my own pace. Before my people came home. 

I did.slowly. 
I was dressed. And I was feeling accomplished. 

And I had not thought any further than that. 

When a friend came to the back door. 
(That kind of friend that knows she doesn't really have to knock) 
And I said "oh my gosh. Will you please dry my hair."

And she did. 
And we chatted. And she left. 
She literally had just come by. Un-announced. To check on me. 

I can't ever be thankful enough. 
And such a great solid reminder in God's word. 
We need each other. 

Be an Aaron. Or a Hur. 
Because one day, you may need one yourself. 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Deodorant in the fridge

There are times when I really think I have this boy-mom thing under control.
And then I open the fridge. And there's someone's deodorant.
I can't even ask questions.
I just leave it there. Right by the sour cream.
Old Spice Swagger and a dollop of Daisy.
Whatever it takes.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Pressing thru walls

Tonight I lay my head down. 

It's been a rough 7 days. 
-I can't compare myself to someone battling cancer, or someone who has lost everything they own in the Louisiana floodings, but keeping it all relative, it's been a rough week. 

I'm thankful for my sweet friends that have prayed me thru, fed my people, spoke words of life into me every single day and filled in the gaps. I'm thankful for my mother that answered endless upon endless questions, even after working 12's herself. 
Where my heart is full, my flesh is weak. 
God has revealed a journey of healing for my body. It's an amazing story. will be!!! It's gonna kinda suck for a little while...And it's not lovely, but I know "the path that I take, and when He is finished with me I will be pure as Gold". 
His word tells me so. 

As shocking as it seems...I'm a pretty private person. I'm thankful for my friends that have pressed thru walls this week. I needed you. And I would've never asked. (I hate that about myself).  But You showed up. Thank you. ❤️❤️ 

And I wasn't going to share, but God kept driving home this verse tonight. So I'll go ahead and share, so I can finally sleep :) 
His plan is ALWAYS PERFECT. 
His timing is ALWAYS PERFECT. 
It's taken me 3 years. <I'm a stubborn subject>

"And even if He does not....He is still a good God." Daniel 3:18 

I just wanna go to prayer tomorrow. That is all. #BabySteps

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Disney. Alligator. Grief. Unfriend.

This was my facebook post for today.
It comes straight from my heart:

I'm not big on "unfriending" for trivial stuff.
I don't mind if you rant about politics. I don't care how you feel about gun control or not. I don't care if your views vary from my faith in the God I serve.
Heck. I don't even care if you are an auburn fan :)
I'm just ok with us having different thoughts and opinions. That's what makes the world go 'round.
Insensitive jokes about the alligator. Hateful judgement about the mom and dad.
That'll make me play the unfriending card.
I have buried my own child.
I have walked away from a cemetery with a little tiny mound of dirt (actually my husband carried me).
And only by the grace of God, my life goes on.
I can't handle hiding behind a keyboard with a thoughtless joke or comment.
May God give endless grace to that family today as they woke up praying this was a bad dream.
Because I woke up, hoping it was...on their behalf.

Friday, June 10, 2016

Please remain calm

It was a nice quiet day in the hundred acre woods.....who am I kidding?! It was a typical chaotic day. 

Mason was in class/lab and Chap was at worship practice. 
Hubby was on the road (#TravelingCokeMan) and I was finishing up some work. 
So, out of my office I an effort to be a domestic queen and cook dinner for my children. 
Well. That plan was de-railed as I spotted a puddle of blood in the garage. Fresh, bright red blood. 
I looked for Jack in his usual spot. He wasn't there. But there was more blood.

Where was he? Had he been eaten by a pack of wolves (that seems likely)?! 

I scream as I run out into the yard searching. It looked like I had just been dispersed for an Easter Egg hunt. 
Panic. Chaos. Where's Jack?! 

There he is. 
He hobbled his way to me. Only to stop at my feet and vomit no less than a gallon of fresh blood. 

No. Seriously. 

Blood in the garage. Blood on the patio. Blood allllll over the front porch. 

So after I had a complete lose-my-mind moment (or 3). I called the vet.
Thank goodness they gave us that handy dandy tag on his collar. 
I didn't know MY OWN name....much less theirs. 

I called. He was great. 
He sensed my panic. Helped me evaluate. 
Jack had severed the pad on his paw. 
He explained that I needed to get the bleeding under control and to bring him in NOW. 
[he likened it to a human cutting their wrist. Time was pretty important here.]
I wrapped it an ace bandage.
Meanwhile, I'm crying "please don't die. Please don't die"
He's whimpering. And looking so pitiful. But hardly had his eyes opened. 

And in the nick of time, Mason drove up. And carried Jack to the car. It was as if I almost hear Jack say aloud "can't you see I'm injured?! I can't walk!!"

Hallelujah. He drove us. 
The vet met us there. And dressed it properly. He gave him an anti biotic, and a shot of pain meds. 
And we went home to watch him thru the night. 

My kids laugh at me about how I treat this puppy. Um.....

He slept with me. 
He ONLY sleeps in his bed in the hall. 
But. Quite honestly. I was so uneasy. 
I picked him up and put him with me and he never budged. Not an inch thru the night. 
He was weak, and he was OUT. 
I'm glad he was. I know he was in pain. 

He went for surgery this morning and the Dr said he had almost completely removed the pad on his paw. OUCH!!!!
{we have no idea what or how he did this)

So. Jack is home now. And bless it. He's pitiful.

Who am I?! 
I don't even *like* dogs:)

Are you kidding me?! I love this baby. 
I need him.

I'm just so glad he's ok. 

But the moral of the story is---I'm terrible in a crisis. Psycho. Out. Of. Control. 

You should never count on me to call 911. Or save someone's life. I'm just not emotionally stable enough for that. #fact

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Memphis in May

Although it's physically impossible for me to be in 2 places heart is. 

Today in Memphis, we celebrate the life of Sean Berry. 
At the same exact moment, in Turks and Caicos, we celebrate the love of Kayla and Austin. 
My heart loves them both. And I am so thankful that God put them in my life. 
"The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

Monday, March 21, 2016

One sided----it's not about me.

I have really been struggling with a few one-sided relationships...and it's hard to vocalize the why's and the what's about my struggles, because I just can't pinpoint what the struggle is.

And then God.
Why does He always have to chime in :)

A message about Palm Sunday, and I am sure that it was intended to be a message of hope for the lost, or a message of redemption for the wayward.

------{you can find the message here:}-----

But, it was a message to me, about The Cross.
At the foot of The Cross there is healing.
At the foot of The Cross there is level ground.
At the foot of The Cross there is freedom.

And, Pastor Dino Rizzo gave an illustration that I may never be able to "un-see" and for that I am so glad.
The Cross has 2 beams. A vertical beam reminds me of the enormous amounts of grace and forgiveness He has given to me. The horizontal beam reminds me to extend it to others. And point them to Him.

It's not about me.
Maybe a few one-sided relationships are necessary, to keep my beam extended.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to give grace, even when sometimes it is not returned.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to fan the flame of friendship, even when it is not returned.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to offer mercy and love, even when it is not returned.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to bless, even when Thank You is not offered.

Look at that one beam.
The one that goes Vertical.
He loved, He offered mercy, He perfected friendship, and He gave Grace...even when HE knew that I wouldn't always offer it back up to Him.

This message of The Cross.
So great!

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