Saturday, May 21, 2016

Memphis in May

Although it's physically impossible for me to be in 2 places heart is. 

Today in Memphis, we celebrate the life of Sean Berry. 
At the same exact moment, in Turks and Caicos, we celebrate the love of Kayla and Austin. 
My heart loves them both. And I am so thankful that God put them in my life. 
"The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

Monday, March 21, 2016

One sided----it's not about me.

I have really been struggling with a few one-sided relationships...and it's hard to vocalize the why's and the what's about my struggles, because I just can't pinpoint what the struggle is.

And then God.
Why does He always have to chime in :)

A message about Palm Sunday, and I am sure that it was intended to be a message of hope for the lost, or a message of redemption for the wayward.

------{you can find the message here:}-----

But, it was a message to me, about The Cross.
At the foot of The Cross there is healing.
At the foot of The Cross there is level ground.
At the foot of The Cross there is freedom.

And, Pastor Dino Rizzo gave an illustration that I may never be able to "un-see" and for that I am so glad.
The Cross has 2 beams. A vertical beam reminds me of the enormous amounts of grace and forgiveness He has given to me. The horizontal beam reminds me to extend it to others. And point them to Him.

It's not about me.
Maybe a few one-sided relationships are necessary, to keep my beam extended.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to give grace, even when sometimes it is not returned.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to fan the flame of friendship, even when it is not returned.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to offer mercy and love, even when it is not returned.
A reminder for me to CONTINUE to bless, even when Thank You is not offered.

Look at that one beam.
The one that goes Vertical.
He loved, He offered mercy, He perfected friendship, and He gave Grace...even when HE knew that I wouldn't always offer it back up to Him.

This message of The Cross.
So great!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Day 22 and beyond...

(Seriously, I need a nap)

21 days of fasting and prayer 

I didn't feel like I should really fast from
food, mostly, because I have basically been fasting food for 915 days. 
But whatever. 

I did feel led to "fast" from Facebook. And not necessarily from the "things" of Facebook. But just from the distractions of life. 

As my fingers got the "shakes" to check it, I would re-focus. It's been good. 

But in a social media driven almost felt like I was missing out. At first. 

Then as days went on, I realized I wasn't. Because life was happening all
Around me. I was glad I was fully present to see it. 

Chapman began learning to play the piano. 
2 of our 3 cars needed new tire$. 
My hard drive in my laptop crashed. Dead. Laptop. {insert nervous twitch here}
Mason transferred to UAB. 
I attended 2 funerals of people I loved dearly. 
I helped a friend serve at her sons 16th birthday ceremony. 
We saw a few snowflakes in Alabama. I didn't leave the house :)
My sweet pup, Jack, had his second birthday. 
I sat with a friend at the hospital while her daughter had a brain tumor removed. 
We spent a few more nights with Pop in the hospital. 
Alabama won another National Championship. 
21 days of prayer and fasting makes me tired. Early mornings aren't my jam. 
My niece, Kaitlyn, got engaged. Wes is one lucky fella.  

All in all, it's been a great 21 days. I'm
Pretty excited to re-connect, but thankful for the new approach. 

After all, life is about loving people. And loving ON people. 
I can do that pretty well, with Facebook. But I've done ok without. 
Maybe balance is the key. 

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

David Thompson

 I'm at a loss. Saying goodbye to a forever friend. {I chose this pic because of the bolo tie and acid washed jeans}
I'm thankful we got to say our goodbyes. And I'm thankful for every single moment spent with him. 
I'm heart broken at the thought of life for anyone, without David Thompson in it. 
He was one of the good guys. 💔 #GodIsGood #ButCancerStillSucks 

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Adventures in babysitting

Middle school, high school, and into my first year of college...I babysat for a family with 3 children. The youngest was about 6 months old when I started and maybe 3rd grade when I *sadly* had to stop (mercy, why did they leave them in my care!). I vacationed with them, I took them to after school activities. I helped them peddle their Girl Scout cookies. 
They were my heart. 
I ran into their mom today. 20 years later. 
All 3 children are married. College graduates. And one has 2 children. 
Humbly, it was like a God-pat-on-the-back. 
Just what my heart needed. 
My kids just may turn out ok, after all. 
#TheyAreGodsChildren #NotMine

Friday, August 28, 2015

Tiny bites

Friday August 28th. Day 2. 
1/4 cup. 

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Will "rehab" for Mickey waffles

Seriously, I'm not making light of it. 
But if I don't laugh, I'll shoot myself in the face. So there. 

Here's where I am today. 
Vanderbilt University Medical Center. 

Why? For answers. 

But even better. God came before me. 
And prepared the way. 

No really. He did. 

So, currently, I have an appointment at Medical University of South Carolina in September. 

Mayo Clinic in October. 

An "undiagnosed disease" specialist in Birmingham in November. 

A pain therapist in December. 

I kid you not. 

Who am I? 
Who is this? 

Rewind 2 years ago, I'm a healthy marathoner full of life and spunk. 
Today, I can hardly walk to the mailbox without being winded. And I'm
Almost an introvert on any given day, if the pain shuts me down. 

Yes. Toss your "no excuses" shame my way. I wave the white flag. 
Guilty of doing the same. 

But for 25 months, I've lived on a diet of chicken breast and JIF peanut butter. And the occasional oatmeal. But heaven forbid, not all 3 in one day. 

Anyways, I digress. 

In January 2015, during our 21 days of prayer, I admit. I don't think I prayed for myself once. 
On the day of healing prayer I was so focused on a few others, I never even tossed my name in the hat. 
True story. I was so discouraged. And felt like it wasnt an issue of healing. But an issue of the doctors need to get their act together. 

Today. We are again in 21 days of prayer. And selfishly I've been praying for (along with many others) and believing for a miracle of healing for myself. Selfish. I know. 
Move on. 

So last week, my doctor calls and says he's referring me to Vanderbilt or Mayo Clinic. He can't do anything else for me. 
The doctor at Vanderbilt can't see me until December. 
Then Friday, I get the call that they can see me this week. 
August. Not December. 

Then, I arrive today...
And the doctor already has a hunch. 
But he says "start at the beginning."
 So I do. 

He said that everything I said affirmed his theory. 
I truly believe God went before me and prepared his mind. 

And then all of a sudden. 
2+ years later. We have a plan. 

A diagnosis of sorts:

it's a post-infectious dysfunction. 
He says he is certain that I had a virus/ infection/bacteria/even a parasite maybe when it started so fierce that first night. (July 2013)
And the lack of proper treatment caused motility dysfunction in my large and/ or small intestine. 
Along with abdominal migraines. 

The good news is it usually corrects itself. The bad news is sometimes that takes up to five years. Or not at all. 
But with some meds, and then within a few days...try to eat very lean and clean. Small bites a day. 
He said to not try to eat meals. That's almost impossible. But to eat a few bites. A few times a day. Like baby steps. 

He's running some blood work to check for lack of nutrition and just to check levels and test for celiac tendencies etc---but he said he's pretty confident he's spot on. 
Motility issues would never show up on the tests. 
Makes total sense. 

And I truly believe it's the power of prayer. Prayer from so many. 
I have a team of prayer lovelies. 
I am so thankful. 
Today has been overwhelming. With love and prayer. 
I'm completely overwhelmed by the people that love me. 

**and for the record.....I've cancelled all of the future appointments at Mayo and in Charleston and Birmingham. I believe this is it. 
I believe God is restoring me to full health. 

And I believe that I'm going to eat a full meal with my family once again. 

Seriously. For the first time in 25 months, I believe full well. 

I can hardly even believe it when I type those words. 
What a powerful day today has been. 

I am so thankful for those that have prayed for and with me. 

I can't wait to share a meal with each and everyone of you. 
In maybe a year or two ;)

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