As I sit pouring over photos, looking thru the BAZILLION pictures that I took during Football Season, I can't help but remember how many times the guys whined like baby girls :
"come on, don't take another picture"
"hey, look, there's Smith's mom again, with the camera"
"Oh my gosh, you are NOT taking a picture of that"
And then last night, as I took some pictures to a mother, grieving the loss of her 18 year old, and teammate of Mason's.....I can't help but hear that over and over in mind.
As I gave her the pictures. One by one. Because she couldn't handle more than one at a time.
She touched them. She held them. She rubbed his face. She cried out with a voice that no mother should ever project.
And at that very moment, with the trembling in her lips, she said "this is all I have left"
It chills my arms as I type.
This. Is. All. I. Have. Left.
Yes, isn't it true.
No one wants to have their picture taken. And no one wants to be IN a picture. And NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE wants to see "that mom" coming with camera quick at the ready on my shoulder.
But, then, in the end, it's all you have left. Yes, you have your memories. But they jump out at you if they are captured in a photo.
You can see their twinkle in their eye. You can see the way that one little hair always curled wrong. You can see that scar from when they fell riding their bike, and you were so sad that they would have a scar. And now you are so thankful for that scar, because it shows character.
And so, as I approach Mason's Senior Year, and all of the memories that lie ahead, already in progress, and soon a part of his past, and then Chap quickly approaching....I think my motto for the next few years will be this....
Watch out boys, am 100% ok with being "that mom"
Now lemme go stock up on a few memory cards :)