Thursday, July 19, 2012

I am ok with being "that mom".....

It's 3:42 am. And I can't sleep.
As I sit pouring over photos, looking thru the BAZILLION pictures that I took during Football Season, I can't help but remember how many times the guys whined like baby girls :

"come on, don't take another picture"
"hey, look, there's Smith's mom again, with the camera"
"Oh my gosh, you are NOT taking a picture of that"

And then last night, as I took some pictures to a mother, grieving the loss of her 18 year old, and teammate of Mason's.....I can't help but hear that over and over in mind.

As I gave her the pictures. One by one. Because she couldn't handle more than one at a time.
She touched them. She held them. She rubbed his face. She cried out with a voice that no mother should ever project.
And at that very moment, with the trembling in her lips, she said "this is all I have left"
It chills my arms as I type.

This. Is. All. I. Have. Left.

Yes, isn't it true.

No one wants to have their picture taken. And no one wants to be IN a picture. And NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE wants to see "that mom" coming with camera quick at the ready on my shoulder.

But, then, in the end, it's all you have left. Yes, you have your memories. But they jump out at you if they are captured in a photo.

You can see their twinkle in their eye. You can see the way that one little hair always curled wrong. You can see that scar from when they fell riding their bike, and you were so sad that they would have a scar. And now you are so thankful for that scar, because it shows character.

And so, as I approach Mason's Senior Year, and all of the memories that lie ahead, already in progress, and soon a part of his past, and then Chap quickly approaching....I think my motto for the next few years will be this....

Watch out boys, am 100% ok with being "that mom"
Now lemme go stock up on a few memory cards :)


8 comments:

The McCombs said...

So true! I am that girl too and I love it! The girls say "Coach, please no pictures" and my boys say "Mom, we don't want to take a picture" and I say....." Hush and Smile"! I always follow the picture by saying "Memories...you will thank me one day"! This horrible tragedy is proof positive you can never take too many pictures! Love You B :)

BamaPhotographer15 said...

Oh, B, I am at work crying reading this! I can't tell you how many times I've held back due to Austin's 'whining' about me taking pictures (of EVERYTHING). Senior Year, no holding back... No more..... #AnotherThatMom

BamaPhotographer15 said...

Oh, B, I am at work crying reading this! I can't tell you how many times I've held back due to Austin's 'whining' about me taking pictures (of EVERYTHING). Senior Year, no holding back... No more..... #AnotherThatMom

BamaPhotographer15 said...

Oh,B, I'm reading this at work crying. I can't tell you how many times I've held back myself because of Austin's 'whining' about me taking pictures. No more. #AnotherThatMom

Gia said...

So true B! If you're not around being "that mom" I will be with my camera in hand. Now that my mom is gone, I cheerish the Bizillion of captured memories we still have by being that "Here she comes again lady"!

Lisa said...

Made me want to cry!! Jason didn't want me taking pictures of Cole in the hospital way back - but I had to - Cole has to know as he gets older how hard it was and great he was and what he survived. Jason eventually got over it. And now I find myself going a while without taking specific photos, not with my phone - that needs to stop!! I wanna be #thatmom too!

Linh C. said...

Oh, I am #thatmom too! My kids are in band, not cheerleading, not dance team, not show choir, you know, the "popular" and "cool" activities. So guess which kids don't have pictures in the year books, until this year, when I got things to change where every club/sports/academic activity has equal representation.
I also noticed that the dancers and the cheerleaders always have a video camera set up to tape their performances, the Moms always get on the field to take close up pics of the girls posing, etc. They are so used to posing and smiling pretty and their photos come out great. Not so for the band kids who always turn away as I snap the shutter. Come on kids, show some pride! If you don't like yourself, who will?

pakosta said...

how true!
glad I am THAT MOM also!
tara

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