So, I've been just doing a lot of "soul searching" lately.
A lot over the past few months, and then even more so, for the last 2 weeks. I think God is trying to teach me something...and I think...maybe...just maybe I am getting it. Or atleast a little piece of it.
I am an emotionally driven person. Sometimes that's GREAT, sometimes, well, not-so-great! I wear my heart on my sleeve (no, not the Bachelor Kasey, kind of wea-my-heart-on-my-sleeve!). I too many times put my emotions right out there for the world.
When I am up. I am up.
When I am hurt. Everyone knows it.
And, I have been told a few times that I need "thicker skin".
And, to be quite honest, I have beat myself up about it. I have WISHED I had thicker skin. Wished I had a harder heart.
But, God has really convicted me of this lately.
He made me just like I am for a reason. Take it or leave it. That sounds harsh. I know.
But, I am tired of beating myself up about it, when, honestly, it is NOT a bad thing.
Yes, I get hurt easily. But, I love easily too.
Yes, I show my emotions. But, atleast you know what's up. No reading between the lines.
Yes, my heart is out there. But, that means I can get closer to you a lot easier. You don't always have to work through that THICK SKINNED layer.
Yes, my skin is thin. But that means it is almost transparent, and that's what God wants. For us to be open. Open to love others. Open to hurt for others. Open to weep with others. Open to rejoice with others.
That's what He calls us to do.
So, maybe I, just maybe my thin skin is a result of God chipping away at those layers.
Hard heart layers.
Hurtful friendship layers.
Hurful relationship layers.
Rebellious teenager layers (yes, mom, believe me, I know how terrible I was!)
All of those layers that sometimes still hurt....well, God has restored those areas, mended those parts of my heart, and used those scars to be blessings to others, and a testimony of what His grace has done for me.
So, what's facebook got to do with all of this?!
Yes I know facebook is a time sucker.
Yes, I know it can be bad, if you let it be.
But, this week, through a very tough week in my personal life, I have been touched, loved, ministered to, prayed for, cried with, loved on, hoped for.......all through facebook!
Crazy! I know.
But, I have had HUNDREDS, yes HUNDREDS of emails, messages, wall posts, song lyrics, stories, and more. From "friends". Not just a number on the left side of my profile, but true FRIENDS. People that love me. People that God has placed in my life. Family. Family that loves me, and loves on me, when I am down and need it most.
So, I am ever so thankful.
Thankful today for Thin Skin and Facebook.
And for all of the people in my life that have shown that they love me the most!